“You’d do the same for me right?”

“No.”
“Are you crazy? Hell no.”
“Mmm lemme think about it. Nope.”

Unavoidably for me, one of the things that grows as I get closer to someone is expectations. As the friendship grows between my friends and I, there are some things that I expect from them. Like respect my decisions. Like stand up for me in situations. Like be considerate of my feelings. I don’t think these are hard and demanding expectations. These are the basics of the basics. But you don’t expect these from strangers. It’d be stupid to ask of this with someone you’ve just made friends with. But I think these are fair things to expect from someone semi-close too you. Someone that you hang out with, someone you talk to almost everyday.

And so it’s upsetting, almost depressing. It’s easy to be bitter and say I’ll just treat the person the same way they’re treating me. But maybe.. it’s not because 他們不講義氣. Maybe.. we’re just not as close as I thought. We’re on each other’s different level of friendship ladder. Or maybe.. they choose to not treat me the way I’d like. Sometimes there are people that you don’t like, maybe ’cause they’re anal, moody, or cranky all the time. It’s harder to be nice to them. Maybe I’m an anal person. Maybe I’m not as likable as I think I am.

I’ll never know the answer to the question. What I do know is 不要讓心隨境轉,做好自己應該做的事.  It’s hard to do. I’ve already gotten mad leading to losing my temper several times. But it adds to the things that I need to work on.

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